God Gave You Your Own Season

In 2012, when I began writing I just knew I was ready. The Lord spared me the embarrassment and you guys— a bad read. If there was a tier for my level of writing back then…it’d be nursery. By 2015 I pushed myself some more and was confident that surely three years of writing and witnessing my then First Lady at church share that she had finished her book in a week—was a sign that it too was my turn.

Not the case.

However, after a few more years of new and fresh-lived experiences, more and more things kept Waking Me Up on the inside. I became wiser and more enlightened about life and what it was to live with more confidence, assurance, and understanding of all the why’s that kept happening to me. It was a ‘tilling the soil for harvest’ kind of experience.

It took nine (9) years but the journey gave me the gems.

This is how I knew that God had this season designed for me: because this time around, I knew in my belly, the way my soul tugged at me, and how universally I synchronized my destiny with my coach’s gift of “getting you there” (s/o to Rashida McKenzie). It wasn’t at all what I was expecting but at this point, I’d witnessed so many God-designed seasons that I transformed my thinking He was testing my patience, to learning He was testing my trust in His timing.

God gave you your own season.

It took years to get to a place of spiritual homeostasis. I used to compare, complain and cry about why me or why not me.

But how could I have known He loves me, and not believe that things wouldn’t work out as they should?

How could I have created my own agenda and think that the confidence I had in my own strength and limited way of thinking was going to be the best way all the time?

How could running from the outcome or the things that came up as “problems” make me believe I was still in control and hold this, “I got it” mentality.

Thank God I had faith and hope. These were my saving grace. In times when I felt like the ship sailed on me, that maybe I need to settle for security, stop taking risks, settle for safe, and let it sink in that I’m getting old…I had to tap back into that place where the tug originated; where I had to remember that I was just the stubborn seed trying to ask the Tiller (God) where to plant me. I had to remember that He had a lay of the land, an oversight and aerial view and that HE was doing the tilling.

I had to remember that God loves me more uniquely than I know, that He shows out in the most unpredictable and awesome ways, and how His timing is always made perfect.

I believe one should champion not only the ‘stay in your lane’, but to also stay in your season. The one God has for you. It will all work out in due season; in your season.

You’re Waking Up, on the Inside.